Tonight I’m not taking my Seroquel. My doctor knows that some nights I don’t take it. I take a very low dosage that ranges from 25 mg from 100 mg if I really need to knock myself out of a hypomanic episode. I really need to be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning by 7:45 a.m., and the 25 mg makes me groggy.
Earlier, I had my writing group. I workshopped a scene where I talked about Seroquel and hypersexuality. People were shocked because they knew nothing of mania. One woman in my group started talking about the work as if she really knew where I was coming from because she has gone through depressions. While this is true to a certain extent, depression and bipolar disorder are not the same thing.
She also added that she got through her depression “without medication.” This kind of comment drives me crazy. What people don’t understand about Bipolar (Bipolar I especially) is that you can’t just get through it without meds. At least 99 percent of people cant. Yes, I can skip my Seroquel tonight, but I’ve taken Depakote along with a cocktail of other drugs for 10 years, and that’s how I’ve kept myself out of the hospital.
Medication is not a choice for me.
No one would tell a diabetic: “stop taking insulin.”
People don’t get it.